I think I have a serious problem.?

I'm 20 years old and I have thoughts of ending my life on numerous occasions for reasons most of you would deem stupid as hell. I think out the process completely and I've come close to causing myself more harm than I already do. I cause myself bodily harm on a daily basis and I am constantly upset with everything. I'm overly suspicious of everything, I don't believe anyone and I constantly find myself asking questions only to answer them with the first thought (which is extremely negative) that I have. I don't feel like I have any purpose and I'm deathly afraid of being alone which is where I believe everything is headed. It doesn't help that I constantly bottle up everything and only come out with negative things or nothing at all to say. At work I can't focus, I'm constantly shaking and scared I'd like to admit myself to a mental health facility but I have no money or insurance so as far as I know that's out of the question. What should I do? I'm seriously scared for and of myself and I can't control my feelings and what I do because of all of the mental hell I'm going through. Anxiety runs in my family so I don't know if that has something to do with it or not but whatever it is, it's so overwhelming that I just can't take it on alone. Don't give me any of that, just stop hurting yourself, actually try, or any other stuff like that. If anyone that is smart answers this and knows what it's like, they know it's not easy to do that.